Purposeful Preparation & Reflection for Personal Growth | Perception Academy

Purposeful Preparation & Reflection for Personal Growth

I was recently working with a coaching client and they had a concern regarding a recurring situation that gets them out of control of their emotions.   They were worried that they would never be able to manage their state in that context. “That situation is ‘too much’ for me to ever learn how to manage my emotions.”

The good news is that when one is in the heat of the moment is not the time to make changes in yourself.

Rather than putting pressure on ourselves in the heat of the moment I recommend using purposeful periods of reflection and preparation for making personal changes.

Planned Reflection

One of the keys to making changes in ourselves is to do it from a cool, calm and centered state. 

If we can’t get ourselves calm when we are not in the triggering situation how could we ever expect to cool ourselves out when we are in triggering situations?

Once we are cooled out we are finally in a state to take some time for productive reflection.

This is exactly how high performance sports teams improve incrementally over time.

After ‘the big game’ they review the tapes and put their focus on what worked well as well as what could be improved for next time.  

Do you have time blocked out for ‘self-coaching’ to reflect on your important performances?

Just like a sports team would ‘review’ the physical recordings you have the power to use your ‘mental movies’ of when it occurred to ’review the tapes’.

If you don’t take time to reflect upon the situations where you didn’t perform at your peak, from a calm and curious state, you’re missing out on valuable learnings!

While in reflection keep in mind we can not change other people or external circumstances.  We are aiming to improve only ourselves and our responses.

Here are some examples of questions for productive reflection:

  • What triggered me? 
  • What behaviors did I do in those situations that worked well? 
  • What behaviors did I do in those situations that didn’t work out? 
  • What am I paying attention to in that situation? 
  • What are my intentions in that situation? 
  • What emotional states was I accessing? 
  • What states would have been more useful?
  • What knowledge did I need in that moment that I didn’t have access to?
  • What other resources would have benefitted me?
  • What I could do to improve for next time.  
  • Etc.

The key is to remain unemotional while doing this and to maintain a focus on calmly and curiously learning.   

It’s nothing personal, it’s just a review of a past performance and you are more than your behaviors.

This is one of the benefits of working with a coach and/or self-coaching.  We take time out of our day to consciously reflect and to work on the things we would like to improve in our life from the safety of “the coaching room”.

Planned Preparation 

“We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.”― Archilochus

Now that we’ve reflected its time to shift our focus on preparing.  And when purposefully preparing it’s equally important to make sure we are in a cool, calm, and centered state.

To come back to the sports metaphor, once the team has reviewed the tapes the next step is to make a plan for preparation so that they can improve for next time.

Take some time to explore what you need to do to prepare yourself for what’s coming up so you can better perform next time.

Some examples of questions for productive preparation:

  • Are there practice drills I can implement? 
  • When will I practice them and how frequently?
  • Are there exercises I can do to strengthen my weak spots or to build on my strengths?
  • Could I do any research to gather knowledge that would support me for next time?
  • Is there someone I could interview who could help me fill in my skill gaps?
  • Would I benefit from hiring a coach/trainer in a specific subject area/skill?

Again this is one of the benefits of working with a coach or blocking out regular time for self-coaching.

We reflect to learn, and then prepare to get ourselves ready for the next performance.

The Perform, Reflect, Prepare Loop

This is the perform, reflect prepare loop.  It starts and ends with taking action.

If you’ve taken time for reflection and preparation, each time the situation occurs, your performance will improve.

When we are in the big game let go of everything, get into flow, and perform the best that you can with your present level of development.  Whatever your level of performance, it’s okay!  

Remember, you are more than your behaviors.

With repeated iterations of performing, reflecting, preparing, and once again performing you will progressively improve over time in a way that is sustainable.

In Closing

Eventually you will develop the skills to the point where you’ll be able to manage your emotions and behaviors in real-time. This will free you to use your reflection and preparation time to develop new skills and competencies.

Feel free to leave your questions and comments here.

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