Moving from Doing to Being | The Being-Doing Equation

Have you ever said something along the lines of “I will be happy when I can do X or have X?”

• “When I have $X in my bank account I will feel successful.”
• “When I have 6-pack abs I will be satisfied with myself”
• “If I had a partner who loves me I would feel valuable.”
• “When I can do NLP like a master, then I will be content”

There is something inherently wrong with these ways of perceiving the world.   All of these statements put the cart before the horse. They get the entire “being-doing equation” backwards.

All of the above statements are formatted in the way of  “when I have/do X, I will be Y” whereas the more accurate way of formatting these statements thoughts is “when I am Y, I will more likely have/do X”.

Think about it this way…

You can’t ‘have’ or ‘do’ anything unless you already ‘are’.  In other words you need to ‘be’ in order to ‘do’ or ‘have’ anything!

The correct order of the ‘being-doing equation’ is that ‘being’ comes before ‘doing’ and ‘having’.

I ‘do’ and ‘have’ because I am!

And when I speak about ‘being’, at its essence, refers to what state you are in.  The question “How are you being?” is synonymous with “What state are you in?”

• Instead of “When I have $X in my bank account I will feel successful” it becomes “I feel successful which increases the probability of me having $X in my bank account”.
• Instead of “When I have 6-pack abs I will be satisfied with myself” it becomes “I am satisfied with myself which increases the probability of me getting 6-pack abs”.
• Instead of “If I had a partner who loved me I would feel valuable”, it becomes “I feel valuable which increases the probability that I will find a partner who loves me”.
• “When I can do NLP like a master, then I will be content” becomes “I am content and that will increase the probability of me being able to do NLP like a master one day.”

Being comes before having and doing.

Now you may have noticed that I framed it in terms of “increasing the probability of X”.  The fact of the matter is that nothing in life is guaranteed. Achieving certain skill levels or outcomes depends on things outside of your direct influence, therefore making them non-promiseable. 

But the good news is that when you are ‘being’ in your most resourceful states it matters much less whether you achieve the desired outcome or not.  Not only do you begin to enjoy the journey much more, but it increases the probability that you will achieve the levels of skill and desired outcomes in the process.

Leave your questions/comments here: https://www.facebook.com/perceptionacademy/posts/1504749866343835

Would you like to receive my best articles delivered directly to your inbox? Sign up for my newsletter here: https://perceptionacademy.com/free-nlp-training/