Would you like the ability to bounce back from any upset, loss, or setback that life brings you? If yes, you could probably benefit from developing resilience skills.
An interesting thing about resilience is that many people believe that they must go through hardship in order to become resilient but this could not be farther from the truth. More on that in just a moment.
The Importance of Resilience
If anything is true, it’s that the things that happen to us in life are out of our control.
It’s a fact of life that ‘bad things’ happen. We can lose financial stability, economies crash, people get injured (including ourselves), we sometimes are wrongfully punished for something we didn’t do, loved ones pass away, and the list goes on.
Life will bring us many challenges of varying intensities which makes resilience is one of the most important skills that we can develop.
The skills of resilience develop our internal resources so we can bounce back from whatever life brings us.
Instant Bounce Back
One of the most amazing things I learned in my study of resilience is that the ultimate goal/ideal potential with resilience is to have an instant bounce back.
We can develop the resources within ourselves to bounce back from whatever life brings us, instantly.
In fact, we can develop the resources within ourselves so that we never even get ‘knocked down’ in the first place.
This is a pretty big promise and a pretty intriguing idea that had me inspired when I was first introduced to the idea.
Would you like to develop this seeming super power?
The Typical Structure of Resilience
Resilience has a structure and in studying resilient people one can recognize that there is a general process many people go through from getting ‘knocked down’ to ‘bouncing back’.
If we break resilience down in to a simple three stage model we have:
- The setback
- The coping period
- And finally, “I’m back!”
The resilience process occurs with a setback, which refers to whatever life circumstance occurs that causes us to get ‘knocked down’.
Upon facing a setback one goes through a coping period, working towards developing the resources to cope with the setback.
Once sufficient resources have been developed we get into the phase of “I’m back!”
Skipping the ‘Coping Phase’
One of the really cool things that I learned from Dr. Michael Hall, the co-founder of Neuro-Semantics, in his modeling of resilience is that there is a way to bypass the whole coping process in the middle.
Would you like to know how? When you understand that process it opens the possibility to gain maximum resilience with minimal suffering.
When we are in the face of a setback, trauma, or knock down we are in one of the worst times to have to pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and and learn how to develop resources.
We just aren’t in the best state to be doing that kind of work.
So what is the solution?
The best way to develop the necessary coping skills is to proactively prepare for setbacks.
If we have the sufficient resources proactively built up within ourselves ahead of time, when the set back occurs, the coping phase becomes obsolete, unimportant, and unnecessary. “I already took care of that!”
And because you already had the internal resources built in before the setback you can have that ‘instant bounce back’ which is the promise/goal/hope that I have been referring to here in this article.
In fact, you never even get ‘knocked down’ in the first place!
The Internal Resources for Being Resilient in Spite of What Life Brings You
As you may have recognized by this point the inner resource of proactivity is a necessary tool for experiencing maximum resilience with minimal suffering.
This makes proactivity one of the most important resources in terms of minimizing the pain needed to be experienced on our life journey toward developing the resilience to handle life’s challenges.
The other key ‘ingredients’ of resilience include an optimistic outlook, unconditional self-worth and a strong sense of self (to not take the events of the world personal and to not let them ‘get inside’ and ‘cut you’), personal power and responsibility, an important vision/mission to pull on you to get back up, a strong social support system, and self-efficacy in your ability to handle challenges.
These are some of the resources that come together to build a resilient attitude and the amazing thing about these ‘resources’ is that they are internal to you and can be cultivated in yourself prior to the setback.
Final Words on Resilience
When everything seems to be disrupted, falling apart, and turbulent around you is the worst time to develop resources to cope. Sometimes that is necessary and we don’t have a choice in the matter, however it is not ideal.
When we are in a calm, cool, and stable environment is a much better time to begin developing your resources. To proactively prepare to the hardships that life will inevitably bring.
The field of Neuro-Semantic NLP provides the tools, processes, skills, and techniques to build the necessary resources into yourself to pull yourself out of anything you are in to the point where you can say “I’m back”, and then to proactively develop the skills for that ‘instant bounce back’.
In life ‘bad’ things will happen to us, but on the bright side we have the ability to develop the resources to handle whatever life may bring.
Do you want support in developing these internal resources? Feel free to contact me or a Neuro-Semanticist in your area.
Leave your questions and comments here.
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