In this clip I was interviewed by Shailaja Vishwanath asking one thing I teach my clients that helps them from where they are to where they think they should be… and my answer may seem a bit paradoxical.
If we think about the basic landscape of personal change and transformation we have two major landmarks.
1. The present state of where someone is, and 2. Their desired state which is actually a synthesis of where they want to be and need to be, combined with where they could be in their potential.
Even before facilitating someone to shift from where they are to where they want to be, one of the things I focus on primary to that is accepting where they are.
By accepting the present state of where you are (the good and the bad) and even appreciating the present state as a necessary step on your journey, you are paradoxically pushed forward into experiencing more and having more of what your higher potential is.
As a first prerequisite to self-actualizing change, the act of accepting & appreciating where you are (and beyond that appreciating your weaknesses, fallibilities, the mistakes you’ve made in the past, the limitations that you have in yourself, your time, etc. opens you up to a more healthy and fulfilling change journey.
While helping people through this process of enjoying the process on their journey towards achieving their outcomes I almost never give advice. Whether I am working with people directly, or training coaches to work with their clients, ideally there is zero advice giving outside of the initial consultation (there are some major issues with giving advice).
It is fully a guided experience from the other person’s model of the world through the skills of questioning, supporting, and facilitating.
Learn more about Shailaja Vishwanath.
Feel free to leave your questions and comments here.
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