Do you have any habits that hold you back from your desired outcomes? I am assuming yes, but a more important question is… How do you feel about those habits? How much can you appreciate those habits?
Many times when we have habits that ‘hold us back’ our automatic reaction is to try to push away from them, prohibit them, avoid them, dislike them, and even judge ourselves for them.
But there is a major problem with these ‘natural’ responses.
When we respond in this way we effectively split ourselves into two and one part of ourselves attacks or judges another part of ourselves.
Even though the intention of these responses is usually to solve the problem, effectually this pattern compounds our problems rather than solving them.
In splitting ourselves in this way we have now created another problem that is on a completely different level than the primary problem we started with!
So what is the solution?
One of the more powerful Neuro-Semantic patterns you can develop is learning to see your problems as skills. Especially the really bad ones!
Someone who eats late at night, every night, has a patterned way of behaving and it works perfectly well. Could you see that? They never miss a night!
How long have they been practicing that habit? And with what frequency? The more someone practices something the better they get at it and the more skilled they become. How much have you practiced your ‘bad’ habits? The more you’ve practiced the more skilled you probably are!
And if a body builder or an anorexic person had this pattern of late night eating it would probably be beneficial for them in certain contexts. So there is nothing wrong inherently with the behavior or the person doing the behavior, and it is a wonderful skill to have, just not in relationship to your goals!
It may seem paradoxical, but by getting oneself to appreciate their patterns they become more whole as a being and therefore they have access to more of their resourcefulness.
The more resourceful one is, the more ability someone will have to discover solutions that work and to continue to learn, experiment and grow towards your highest and best self.
Instead of trying to change, push away from, avoid, prevent, or get rid of our problems, we can start to start to look at our patterns as valuable skills applied in the wrong context. When we respond in this way we become more whole and paradoxically we open a space for lasting change to develop.
Feel free to leave your questions and comments here.
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