Do You Motivate Yourself by ‘Shoulding’ on Yourself?

Do you motivate yourself by ‘shoulding’ on yourself?

“I should exercise later”, “I should call her today”, “I should read that book I bought”, etc.

If yes, my guess is that you’re probably not being as productive as you could be, and even if you are being productive it is most likely not so joyful of a process.

Would you like to learn a strategy for getting more stuff done and to enjoy life a little more?

The technique that I offer you here is, rather than ‘shoulding’ on yourself and others, convert any ‘shoulds’ into ‘wants’ and ‘preferences’.

Shoulding on yourself puts unnecessary and self-imposed pressure on yourself. I invite you to try it on for a minute…

How do these statements feel when you try them on in your imagination:
“I should go to the gym tomorrow”
“I should wash the dishes right now”
“I should take out the garbage when I go outside”
“I should work on my taxes this weekend”

Now try on these:
“I prefer to go to the gym tomorrow”.
“I prefer to wash the dishes now”.
“I prefer to take out the garbage next time that I go outside”.
“I prefer to work on my taxes this weekend”.

A lot less pressure isn’t it!

What you will notice is that this is a relatively simple linguistic shift, but more important than changing that word is changing the feeling that goes along with that word. If you only change the word and not the feeling you are in essence ‘lying to yourself’. It will be incongruent saying one thing but experiencing another.

So when you authentically make this change…..
“I should go to the gym tomorrow” becomes “I prefer to go to the gym tomorrow”.
“I should wash the dishes right now” becomes “I prefer to wash the dishes now”.
“I should take out the garbage when I go outside” becomes “I prefer to take out the garbage next time that I go outside”.
“I should work on my taxes this weekend” becomes “I prefer to work on my taxes this weekend”.

When you change the experience of ‘should’ to one of ‘preference’ you will find yourself being more productive, releasing the unnecessary pressure that you have been putting on yourself, and not only will more stuff be more likely to get done but you will also be more joyful, more fulfilled, and more satisfied throughout the process.

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