When Being ‘Authentic’ Becomes an Excuse

Were you aware that there are times when ‘being authentic’ can hold you back from your highest and best self? This can happen with ‘negative’ emotional responses as well as ‘positive’ ones.

One example of when this can happen is when something happens that “makes me angry and so react I automatically and ‘authentically’ with anger” (I used anger as an example but you can insert any emotion that fits).

The anger response is “authentic” in the sense that “I feel angry, so l react with anger” but does it really serve me to respond in that way?

This also can occur in more ‘resourceful’ contexts. For example, I feel inspired to write so I will write. It is ‘authentic’ in the moment, however this too can create difficulties.

Firstly, most everybody has had the experience of ‘chasing’ our inspiration while ‘we have it’ only to skip a meal, ignore our body’s signals to take a break, or staying up too late into the night. I am ‘authentically’ caught up in my inspiration, but when my inspiration has me in this way is it truly sustainable? Does this truly help me to be and become my highest and best self?

And what about the times when it is time for us to write (insert your creative activity of choice here) but “the inspiration isn’t there”? Is it authentic to scroll mindlessly through social media if my body feels the desire to do so? If I had to wait for the inspiration to arrive for me to write this article it may have never been written!

In Neuro-Semantics we refer to this type of ‘authenticity’ as a caveman authenticity. I feel X so I ‘authentically’ react in ways that don’t serve me based on my old automated programs.

Referring to these reactions as ‘authentic’ can act like an excuse to perpetuate our unresourceful and reactive response patterns. It acts as a giving away of our power to the situation, context, or our old habits.

Here the question is not “Is my response authentic” but it becomes a question of “Does my authentic response serve me or not?”

If the answer is “no” you have two options:

• You can automatically be driven by your emotions “because they are authentic” and reinforce those automatic reactions.
• You can take ownership over your feelings recognizing that your emotions are one of the things that are in your power and learn to practice and develop them consciously, by choice.

Becoming more authentic is a characteristic of Self-Actualizing individuals, but there are times when ‘being authentic’ can serve as an excuse that holds us back from our best potentials.

What we are learning to do with NLP & Neuro-Semantics to authentically take ownership over our reactions and authentically practice them on purpose so you can become the owner of your responses, rather than a slave to them.

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