Do you ever beat yourself after or during an experience because ‘I should have done better’ or ‘I should have known better’? If yes, I have good news for you…
Whether you are working with a professional coach or just self-coaching, when you are in the heat of the moment is not the time to be trying to apply new skills.
In fact, this is one of the reasons we do coaching in the first place!
Coaching allows us to take time out of our day to reflect on and prepare for situations precisely when we are not absorbed in the moment.
This ‘psychological’ distance allows us to think about the situations that trouble us/skills we want to develop from different states of mind than we are used to, which allows us access to new and creative ideas and solutions that we wouldn’t normally have access to.
Just like a sports coach we prepare and practice for ‘the big game’ so that once we are ‘on the field’ we can let go of needing to change and put our awareness fully on performing at our best, no matter how ‘unsatisfactory’ the results or how much farther along we wish we were.
This is where a strong dose of acceptance and appreciating our human fallibility becomes very important because the fact is, we are not perfect. We are fallible human beings and if you have grand ideals/expectations this becomes even more important. You will rarely live up your grandest fully on the first try, and perhaps not even after many trial runs. The fact is, the bigger your ideals the longer it will take to get there.
(If acceptance is an issue for you consider watching this 8 minute video on the power of acceptance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bur5JfnshtM and/or this 4 minute video on being ‘gloriously fallible’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXYUpGPDoa0)
Once we perform to the best of our ability, no matter how ‘unsatisfactory’ the outcome, we can ‘review the tapes’ in reflection to pull out any learnings that could have made a difference and use them for next time.
In the moment we perform. In moments of preparation and reflection we develop.
When we accept our performances for what they are, and block out time for preparing and reviewing we dramatically accelerate our learning, development, and become much more fulfilled throughout the journey.
Here are some great questions for post-event review that might help you:
What did I plan to do?
What did I do well/What should I keep doing?
What would be one tweak to improve this activity?
What else can I learn from this performance, if anything?
As always feel free to leave your questions and comments here: https://www.facebook.com/perceptionacademy/posts/1489751684510320
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