Advanced Anchoring: Stop Touching Yourself!

A client recently asked me why I don’t use or recommend kinesthetic (touch) anchors for self-anchoring, like pressing on your knuckle, pounding your chest, or squeezing on your shoulder to fire off a specific state.  

It’s a fair question considering plenty of NLP trainers teach it as the go-to method. But, there’s quite a lot of reasons why I think it is less than ideal.

Imagine trying to anchor 36 emotional states (like I utilize in my personal ’state practice’ nearly every single day). Now imagine trying to remember which body part corresponds to each one, let alone reach for it at the right time. It’s unnatural. It’s clunky. And let’s be honest, out in the real world it would be totally awkward to pound your chest or squeeze your earlobe in the middle of a meeting.

That’s not ideal for social credibility, and not how most people would want to show up in the middle of a real-life intense situation.

Would you like to know what I do instead?  I’ll give you a hint: It’s not a circle of excellence (I’ll explain why not in a minute). But if you want to know what is actually working for myself (and for my clients who want natural, reliable, on-the-go access to empowered states) enjoy the article.

1.⁠ Use Your Natural Anchors

The primary tool I use for self-anchoring is to utilize the internal sensory qualities that naturally evoke the state in myself.

Let’s use a state of ‘appreciation’ as an example. To anchor appreciation, I don’t just amplify a state of appreciation and touch myself on my left elbow. 

Instead, I mentally step into the moment that already triggers appreciation in me, for example, my first sip of my iced coffee in the morning.  

As I psychologically step in to my memory/imagination of that experience, I bring awareness to the sensory-based triggers:

• The visual of the cup near my mouth.
• The feel the texture of the straw on my lips.
• The feel the coolness of the liquid and the taste of sweetness as it swishes within my mouth.

Rather than creating a new ‘touch anchor’, I remember and re-use one or more of the sensory based triggers (the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and/or feelings) that my nervous system already knows will bring me into my desired state.

So back to my example, imagining the feeling of the cool coffee and flavor swishing in my mouth from my first sip of coffee in my mouth already brings up feelings of appreciation, almost automatically.

2.⁠ ⁠Use the State’s Neurology as a Gateway

Once I’ve tapped into the sensory based triggers (and remember them as anchors that I can use to bring me into the state quickly), I then take a snapshot of the physiology of that state itself: the posture, breath, voice tone, “magic words”, and gestures that flow naturally out of the state.

For appreciation, that might look like:

• A softening of my shoulders.
• A slow, smooth breath in and out through the nose.
• A pursing of my lips with a gentle smile (not just with my mouth, but with my eyes).
• A lightness in my forehead and gentle head nod.
• A quiet “mmm” or “thank you” in a tone and volume that carries the feeling of appreciation.

Those aren’t just signals of the state, they are the embodiment of the state itself.

And once again, I take time to remember deeply this set of physiologies so I can use one or more of them as tools to step back into this state quickly.

At this point I have built a pretty robust internal model of the state including one or more sensory triggers and physiologies that I can use to real-ize the state on command.

3.⁠ ⁠Anchor to the ‘Name’ of the State… Strategically.

Once I have set those up, I then link those internal sights, sounds, and sensations with the name of the state, which I use as a linguistic anchor.

In the example we have been using, this would be the word “appreciation.”

The key is not to set up the word so it automatically fires off the state, but as an anchor to bring you to choice point.

For example, when I say the word ‘appreciation’, think of the word ‘appreciation’, read the word ‘appreciation’, or I hear someone else say the word, I set it up as a cue to choose. 

“Do I want to step into this state right now?” 

Then, I have the choice to either utilize the anchors from steps one and two, or choose not to.

This gives me maximum flexibility. I’m not wired to respond like a robot every time someone says “confidence”, or “focus”.  I stay deliberate and intentional and use it as a reminder to choose. The overall aim is to have my emotions rather than my emotions having me.

So that’s the process. I use aspects of my memory/imagination of my already existing sensory based triggers, alongside aspects of the physiology of the embodiment of the state as anchors to get back into state on demand. And I also set up the name of the state as a trigger to bring myself to choice point.

How do you know if your anchors are working? 

Simple. Can you get yourself into the desired state, in a calm environment, in less than one breath?

If yes, you’ve got it.  If not, you have to practice a bit more until you do.

Touch anchors aren’t wrong. They are actually quite effective when doing in-person sessions with another person as a temporary tool within a particular session.  

Also, for self-anchoring in daily life, I’ve found the above methods to be far more effective, flexible, and let’s be honest… less socially weird.  

They don’t require you to poke your body like a combination lock or to map out ten different “Circles of Excellence” on your living room floor and try to remember all those combinations of sights, sounds, and sensations (Yes, I’ve tried it. Yes, I had a spreadsheet. Yes, I’m willing to share it. And no, I don’t recommend it.)

In fact, even in the case of in-person coaching sessions I ultimately want to hand the anchors back over to my clients so they can trigger their needed resources by themselves after the session is complete (using the above method). 

Ideally, they won’t need them and their desired changes will be installed to automatically fire off in the desired circumstances once we’ve wrapped up the session, but realistically, they will likely need to practice. Since I am not going to be there with them to touch their shoulder in real life, I might as well teach them how to recall their important resources on their own.

That said, there are moments when kinesthetic anchors, applied to yourself, can be useful. In private environments, or during the early stages of learning and installation. For example, a speaker backstage, a performer in the wings, or a coach prepping before a difficult session.

Touching a ring, pressing a palm, or clasping hands in a particular way can serve as a grounding mechanism to trigger a state like calm, clarity, or focus. The key is it’s subtle, discreet, and used in a controlled environment where social context isn’t an issue.

Self-anchoring is just one slice of what we cover in our coaching and training programs at the Perception Academy and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The real transformation starts when you experience the full system.

Once you can effectively anchor and access states in yourself on command it unlocks entire new skill trees.  It is at the foundation of Cooking with Your Brain Chemistry™️ where you’ll learn to cook up high level recipes such as generating a ‘stable core’ within yourself so you can remain centered on the inside no matter what is occurring on the outside. 

It is the foundational skill for turning flow states on and off on demand in order to maximize your sustainable peak productivity. It is also foundational to be able to develop a resounding resilience to bounce back from whatever life throws at you and come back stronger than ever. And that’s just the beginning.

If your aim is to be a world-class coach and leader of yourself and others, being able to self-anchor is going to be one of the fundamental skills. 

It is at the core of self-leadership which is where real change begins. Once you’ve got that, everything else becomes easier. 

So start with one state. Practice until it’s natural. Then repeat. 

Mastery doesn’t come from magic. It comes from implementation. One step at a time, and one breath at time.

Want to go deeper?

Our next Self-Leadership/Coaching Genius Certification training in Ft. Lauderdale is coming up soon. This is where we train the tools behind state mastery, flow states, and sustainable peak productivity, in-person, in community, and with expert feedback.

If you want the details, just reply with the word “Coaching” and I’ll send you everything you need to know.

Once you can lead your ‘self’… your perceptions, your emotions, and your actions… everything else becomes a breeze.