The Power of Disidentification | Perception Academy

The Power of Disidentification

As human beings we have a phenomenal power to create identifications: The power to identify ourselves with people, groups and things.  Choosing who and what we identify with is an important skill to develop as we are growing up, however there is also a big danger in identifying with things that are not our ‘self’.

Our identifications can trap us in unresourceful ways of thinking, feeling, and responding and when something goes against something we identify with we tend to take it personally which is inaccurate, unnecessary, and unresourceful.

In today’s article I am going to share with you a couple of things that we as human beings commonly overidentify with, and if you follow me along on this journey my hope is that your sense of self will become stronger, more resilient, and you will be better able to cope with the ever changing nature of the reality around you.

If you’re interested in becoming more clear about what you are not, so you can get more clear on what you truly are then you’re in the right place and enjoy today’s article.

You Are Not Your Beliefs

One of the things us human beings tend to over-identify with is our thinking and believing.

The problem with this is when someone goes against our beliefs we can take it as a personal threat.  It is like an attack on our ‘self’ which is neither true, nor healthy.

Have you ever believed something in the past that you don’t necessarily believe anymore? 

Maybe you believed in Santa Claus growing up, or you believed that a trending style of clothing, haircut, or other fad was really cool and then it fell out of fashion? 

I used to believe all sorts of things that I don’t believe anymore, and this is the point…

If you have believed things in the past that you no longer believe now, and you are still here, then clearly you are not your beliefs.

You are more than your beliefs. You transcend them.  

Beliefs may change but regardless you are still here.

The power to ‘have beliefs’ but not to identify with them allows us to learn, grow, and to open ourselves to feedback from the world and other people around us.

Nobody is perfect and as we develop as human beings beliefs come, go, and change as we learn and grow… which hopefully we do.

If your beliefs and values can shift and change then clearly you are not your beliefs.  You are more than your beliefs.

You Are Not Your Body

Another thing that we, as human beings, tend to over identify with is our bodies. 

Regardless of whether “I am someone with a great body” or “I am someone with a ‘not great’ body”, when we over identify with our body our sense of self becomes a roller coaster ride that depends on the changing conditions of our body.

If we get sick or injured all of a sudden our ‘self’/identity is on the line.

Let me ask you a question…

If someone was to get into an accident and they were to lose their legs, would they still be themselves?   If i lost my legs i’m sure i would still be me. Would you still be you? 

If you could lose parts of your body but still be you, clearly you are not your body.  You are more than your body.

We are born with a body and over time our body changes and gets stronger and more capable. 

Then at some point there will be a decline in our strength and capabilities.  

If you over identify with your body prepare for a rocky ride.

Your body has been changed a lot since the day you were born.  It will continue to change as you continue to develop.  Through all of the bodily changes you have experienced you are still here.  You are more than your body.

You are Not Your Roles

Another thing that we as human beings tend to over identify with are our roles.  

Throughout our lives we play many roles and the roles we play come, go, and shift as we develop through our life stages.

If the roles you play change, and you are here all along, clearly you are not your roles.

There is a danger of overidentifying with our roles in life.  

If you identify with your role and dislike it I am sure you can imagine the impact that would have on one’s ‘self’.

And if you identify with a role that you love when that role goes away, for example when you retire, it can lead to an identity crisis.  If “I am” my role and my role goes away then “Who am I?”

We can hold many roles throughout our lives and when they come and when they go, we still are. We are not our roles.  We are more than the roles we play.

You are Not Your Behaviors

To their own detriment, many people also tend to over identify with their behaviors.

Have you ever done stuff from the past that you would never do anymore?

As a kid I used to do some stupid things.  For example as a teenager on Halloween my friends and I would throw toilet paper in people’s trees. How could I have done that? I would never do that now!   And yet I did that. 

I did that, I would never do that again, and yet I am still here.  Have you ever done something in the past that you would never do anymore? 

Regardless of past behaviors you are still here so you must be more than your behaviors.

Over the course of our lives our behaviors and skills change and yet we are here all along.

You could be highly unskilled in a particular context. That says nothing about you as a person.

You could be highly skilled in a particular context and it doesn’t make you better than anybody else. It doesn’t make you better as a human being.  

And there are many things that you are really good at that one day you’re not going to be so good at anymore and that’s okay because you are more than your behaviors.

Your behaviors and skills may say something about your competence, your confidence in your abilities, but not about ‘who you are’.

You are not your behaviors. You are more than your behaviors.

You are Not Your Past

Your past is done and over with and yet you are still here.  How is that for something to celebrate!  If the past is gone and you are still here clearly ‘you’ are not your past.  You are more than your past.

In Conclusion

In this article I have shared quite a few things that clearly you are not. 

  • You are not your beliefs because beliefs can change over time and yet you are still here.
  • You’re not your body because your body changes over time and yet you’re still here.
  • You are not your roles because your roles can change over time and yet you’re still here.
  • You are not your behaviors or skills because behaviors and skills change over time and yet you’re still here.
  • You are not your past because the past is done and gone and you’re still here. 

These understandings allow us to disidentify from these aspects of reality and free ourselves so that my ‘self’ is no longer on the line. I can esteem myself unconditionally, regardless of the conditional nature of physical reality.

If something happens to my body I don’t have to take it personally.  When I come across a belief that contradicts mine I can remain open and not take it as a personal attack. You may have done some things in the past that you are not proud of, or be unskilled in certain activities and that is okay. You are more than your past and your behaviors.

When we disidentify ourselves from the things in life that come and go all of the sudden our sense of self becomes more stable, strong and secure. We become more free to try new things, to experiment, and to learn and grow without having our ‘selves’ on the line.

I trust that you will become more empowered to choose what you do identify with as you enjoy your journey of growth while becoming more and more clear about who you are not along the way.

Do you have any question, comments or insights? Feel free to share them here.

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