Are you the same person when you are angry as when you are happy?
Of course not! When we are angry we behave differently, speak differently, we even have access to different memories from when we are happy!
This is due to a concept called ‘state dependency’.
State dependency refers to the fact that all learning, memory, perception, behavior and communication is dependent on what state you are in.
A long time ago I was with a friend who was going through a hard time.
Curious, I asked her “Was there ever a time when you were happy?” and surprisingly to me her answer was a clear cut “no!”.
To me that was very curious because in the past I had many experiences with this person that I would have considered positive, happy, and even fun.
Later that day I invited my friend to play frisbee with me and she agreed.
After a few minutes of tossing around the frisbee I saw her state begin to shift. Her breathing rate increased a bit, she began to smile more and even laughing out loud on a few occasions.
After a while the smiles and laughter became more and more prevalent and I curiously asked the question, “Are you happy? Are you having fun?”
With a smile she answered “Yes!”, confidently.
I asked her about a couple of other pleasant experiences we had had in the past, “Do you remember that time we went out with your friends for your birthday party, that was so much fun!”. Not only did she agree with a smile, but she reminisced about a couple of other positive memories we had together.
A few days later I met up with this person again and they began complaining about how bad their life was and needless to say the smiles were gone.
Once again I asked, “ When have you been happy in your life? When was the last time you had fun?” expecting to trigger back the memories of our frisbee encounter but to my surprise they responded with “No, never.”
“But what about the other day when we were playing frisbee? I asked you if you were happy, if you were having fun and you said yes!”.
“Yea, but I was just saying that to make you happy. I wasn’t really enjoying myself. And besides, that doesn’t count because…”
Needless to say, our states are powerful. For better or worse they filter our reality.
Like a fish in water we are typically totally unaware of them and yet they influence everything we experience.
Given that all learning, memory, perception, communication and behavior is state dependent… how much control do you have over your states?
How much more would you like?
This is one of the core powers you gain when you learn to Cook with Your Brain Chemistry… more coming on that in the near future.
What are you taking away from this story? What questions do you have on the subject?
As always feel free to leave your questions and comments here: https://www.facebook.com/perceptionacademy/posts/1491867860965369
Would you like to receive my best articles delivered directly to your inbox? Sign up for my newsletter here: https://perceptionacademy.com/free-nlp-training/
Want to Learn More Neuro-Semantic NLP?
Here at the Perception Academy, I am on a mission to spread this information as far and wide as possible so I will continue to share as much of this cutting-edge material as I can.
Online Courses
The courses are designed in a way that is well organized for your ease of learning, information retention, and immediate application to deliver a life-changing experience for you and those with whom you communicate.
INSIDERS Group Membership
Want ongoing support? Get INSIDER level course access, two live events & online courses/month, two monthly practice sessions, Q&A calls, a private group for mutual support and more...
Private 1-1 Coaching
Want to work with me privately for 1-1 coaching or mentoring via video chat? While I typically have a waiting list for private sessions, you can learn more and apply here.
