Master New Skills Without Stress via Low Stakes Experiments

Have you ever procrastinated on applying a new skill because you were afraid you might make a mistake, look unnatural, or come off as inauthentic?

In this article, I’ll share a simple strategy to overcome this hesitation and start taking action immediately—without needing to develop any new skills.

Why We Hesitate

Recently this subject came up when I was working with a client who told me that he was stuck from using a particular coaching skill with his clients. He told me he knew why this skill would be important for him and that he even knew how to do it (in fact he has known how to do this skill for over 10 years) but for some reason he wasn’t able to get himself to apply it with his paying clients.  

When we explored what was holding him back, he admitted he was worried about making mistakes, appearing clumsy, and appearing unprofessional —fears that could distance him from his desired outcomes

The Solution: Low-Stakes Practice

Of course we can do the inner game work to reframe what mistakes mean, building in acceptance of one’s fallibility (even becoming gloriously fallible) and separating your human-being from your human-doing.  I do recommend all of these things.

But the simple hack/solution I proposed was much more simple. 

If you’re trying to use your skills in a high stakes situation where money or somebody’s results are on the line, I can imagine there would be a lot of pressure and it’s probably not the best time to be trying out something new.

The simple secret? 

Practice in low-stakes contexts first. 

Just as athletes don’t try out a new move/play for the first time during a championship game, coaches and communicators should rehearse in a safe environment before using a skill in high-pressure situations.

Examples of Low-Stakes Contexts

1. Friends and Family

One of the best places to start practicing is with friends or family who are open to the idea. 

In fact this is how I got a lot of experience early in my career.

I would reach out to different people and ask them if I could practice a new communication skill with them. I would say “Hey, would it be alright if I try this new skill with you? I don’t know if it is going to work or not.”

Over time, I found a few individuals who were willing to consistently act as my “test rabbits,” offering invaluable opportunities for practice and feedback.

Hopefully you’ll be able to find at least one person in your life who would be open to the possibility of trying something new and then to offer you some feedback.

2. Colleagues and Practice Partners

Another excellent group to practice with includes colleagues who are on a similar learning path, such as fellow coaches. Establish a ‘buddy coaching’ arrangement where you take turns practicing new skills and exchange feedback to support each other in developing your skill. This can help both parties advance in their journey.

In my INSIDERS group coaching program  participants frequently cite the benefit of having someone to practice with before applying new skills in higher-stakes settings like client sessions or presentations  before they bring it out into “the real world” with their family members, clients, potential clients, etc.

Building a Pathway to Mastery

If you want to implement a new coaching/communication skill start implementing it in low stakes environments before using it in contexts where there is something important on the line.

The more you practice in low-stakes environments, the more natural the skill will feel. Eventually, your confidence will grow to the point where you’ll be ready to use it seamlessly in real-world situations. Over time, you might even find that the skill becomes second nature and emerges spontaneously when needed because it has been rehearsed.

Final Thoughts and an Action Step

Start today: Identify one low-stakes opportunity this week to practice a coaching or communication skill. Whether it’s with a trusted friend or a colleague, take the first step to implement a new skill you’ve been wanting to develop.

Remember, by consistently practicing in safe spaces, you set yourself on the mastery pathway — developing the confidence and fluency needed to thrive in higher-stakes environments to the point where when challenges present themselves your default response is “bring it on!”

Feel free to leave you questions and comments here.